After “Jaws” was released, people stopped going to the beach. Let’s hope after “Night Swim” people won’t be frightened to return to the movie theatre. The latest Blumhouse release is about as scary as a Babe Ruth candy bar floating in the Bushwood CC swimming pool. Now what was that term Spalding used? Oh yeah, “Doodie!”
January is a slow month for movies. How slow? Well, ghosts have now decided to haunt a swimming pool when a nice two-story Amityville-looking house sits 50 feet away.
Meet the Waller family. Ray (Wyatt Russell) a former MLB player whose career was benched by Multiple sclerosis, his wife Eve (Kerry Condon from “The Banshees of Inisherin”), and their two kids, teenager Izzy (Amelie Hoeferle) and younger brother Elliot (Gavin Warren).
The malicious tank of terror is introduced in a flashback scene that takes us to 1992 where a young girl named Rebecca (Ayazhan Dalabayeva) becomes the latest victim of the killer pool as she attempts to retrieve her brother’s toy boat. She is just one of the many people who over the years have disappeared in the concrete Bermuda rectangle.
Back to the present day. The Wallers have settled in, and everyone is ready to go swimming. Ray, who walks with a cane, looks forward to the pool’s hydrotherapy value as the water can help him exercise while dealing with MS. As a bonus, the family learns the pool is spring-fed and word has it, the waters contain magical powers. Do I detect an M. Night Shyamalan storyline? Sadly no.
There are a few scenes in the film that work exceptionally well for writer-director Bryce McGuire, most notably the Marco Polo moment where Izzy takes a late-night dip in the pool with a teenage boy who sneaks over while her parents are out for the night. As she walks in the pool, eyes shut, while calling out “Marco” and waiting for the boy’s “Polo” (btw, he snuck out of the pool as a prank), she gets sucked under by a monster that looks like the Creature from the Black Lagoon just after an entity that resembles Darth Vader, minus the helmet, answers “Polo” in a demonic voice.
Eventually, everyone in the family has their own frightening experience. Elliot has a run-in with Samara from “The Ring” who’s ventured out of the well for a larger water receptacle and Ray becomes possessed by the “Old black water, keep on rolling” minus the Mississippi moon that isn’t shining on him because they’re in California and the scene takes place in the daylight at a large Waller pool party.
If you’re wondering about Eve, she becomes the story’s Ripley while trying to save her family after learning about the pool’s sordid past. Condon is the film’s VIP as she ventures into the aquatic version of The Further, no surprise after all the horror film was produced by James Wan (along with Jason Blum).
Based on the 2014 short film by writer-director Bryce McGuire and Rod Blackhurst, “Night Swim” sinks fast as the film fails to produce any scares. With a PG-13 rating and only a few sights of blood, there’s a “Goosebumps” vibe, but you’ll find more frights in the R. L. Stine world including the movies with Jack Black.
(2 stars)
Now showing in theaters
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